"Try Harder Next Time!"

Jan 16

Guys. We talked about this before. 

Full is full. Do you pump $50 into a gas tank that only holds $35? Do you eat chocolate bars or sushi until it fills your throat and mouth then spills all around you? 

NO.

Someone other than you has to clean this up. Take your bottle or paper towel out the door to the next garbage can you see, and put it there.

Try harder next time.

Guys. We talked about this before.

Full is full. Do you pump $50 into a gas tank that only holds $35? Do you eat chocolate bars or sushi until it fills your throat and mouth then spills all around you?

NO.

Someone other than you has to clean this up. Take your bottle or paper towel out the door to the next garbage can you see, and put it there.

Try harder next time.

Dec 06

This is irony - two years ago I subscribed to Las Vegas hotel “e”-newsletters; we went there for a wedding and got super deals. I never unsubscribed because I wanna go back someday. Today I received this email from Vdara - they have some “Decemeber” deals on suites. TOO MANY Es, VDARA.

This is irony - two years ago I subscribed to Las Vegas hotel “e”-newsletters; we went there for a wedding and got super deals. I never unsubscribed because I wanna go back someday. Today I received this email from Vdara - they have some “Decemeber” deals on suites. TOO MANY Es, VDARA.

Nov 14

Look - I’m not perfect. I would never profess to be without fault. But I know how apostrophes work. I know what they represent. I know the difference between “guys” (more than one guy) and “guy’s” (the #10 jersey and equipment belonging to Monsieur Lafleur). 

So try a bit harder. I know a decent copy editor who can help, if you’re hiring.

Look - I’m not perfect. I would never profess to be without fault. But I know how apostrophes work. I know what they represent. I know the difference between “guys” (more than one guy) and “guy’s” (the #10 jersey and equipment belonging to Monsieur Lafleur).

So try a bit harder. I know a decent copy editor who can help, if you’re hiring.

Oct 26

Above the door of the “Resource Room” in my daughter’s school. I know a teacher wasn’t responsible for the sign; I am surprised it hasn’t been changed. If the spelling was correct, this room could have SO MANY PURPOSES. There are mutliple possibilities!

Above the door of the “Resource Room” in my daughter’s school. I know a teacher wasn’t responsible for the sign; I am surprised it hasn’t been changed. If the spelling was correct, this room could have SO MANY PURPOSES. There are mutliple possibilities!

Apr 27

I think you had room for the other two letters. In what world is “PLSE” easier to understand, or the actual short form, of “PLEASE”?!
PLSE TRY HARDER!

I think you had room for the other two letters. In what world is “PLSE” easier to understand, or the actual short form, of “PLEASE”?!

PLSE TRY HARDER!

Sep 19

We can’t figure out if the sign company MEANT to misspell “courtesy” (since no one would really talk about the sign unless they noticed the error) - or, if it was purely unintentional. I’m gonna guess the latter, and have the ‘courtsey’ to consider the competition.

We can’t figure out if the sign company MEANT to misspell “courtesy” (since no one would really talk about the sign unless they noticed the error) - or, if it was purely unintentional. I’m gonna guess the latter, and have the ‘courtsey’ to consider the competition.

May 12

Okay.
First of all: that’s not a toilet. Nor is it a garbage can.
Second: there’s a screen covering the drain. Ain’t nothing gonna get flushed past that screen.
Third: because of said screen, someone’s gotta pick that out of there. With their hands. You knew that when you did it, right?
But you didn’t care. You’re a loner and a rebel - who needs garbage cans and flushable toilets? You’ve got a urinal, and you’re gonna throw some paper in there like a big man, and someone else can pick it out WITH THEIR HANDS. 
I wish I was the washroom permit fairy and doled out the permits for the washroom because yours, my friend, would be irrevocably revoked.  

Okay.

First of all: that’s not a toilet. Nor is it a garbage can.

Second: there’s a screen covering the drain. Ain’t nothing gonna get flushed past that screen.

Third: because of said screen, someone’s gotta pick that out of there. With their hands. You knew that when you did it, right?

But you didn’t care. You’re a loner and a rebel - who needs garbage cans and flushable toilets? You’ve got a urinal, and you’re gonna throw some paper in there like a big man, and someone else can pick it out WITH THEIR HANDS. 

I wish I was the washroom permit fairy and doled out the permits for the washroom because yours, my friend, would be irrevocably revoked.  

May 06

Don’t bother asking for hydromorphone OR oxycontin - you won’t get any. You also won’t get anything that resembles the word “exceptions”, which is “exellent”.

Don’t bother asking for hydromorphone OR oxycontin - you won’t get any. You also won’t get anything that resembles the word “exceptions”, which is “exellent”.

Mar 29

Artistic graffiti is one thing — kids with spray paint is another thing entirely. Not happy about the amount of salt on their fries from the Charlottetown WalMart, someone had something intelligent to say on the back door of the restaurant. @joshcoles tells me it’s a reference to an unfortunate sufferer of Tourette’s Syndrome who starred in a bunch of YouTube videos.

Artistic graffiti is one thing — kids with spray paint is another thing entirely. Not happy about the amount of salt on their fries from the Charlottetown WalMart, someone had something intelligent to say on the back door of the restaurant. @joshcoles tells me it’s a reference to an unfortunate sufferer of Tourette’s Syndrome who starred in a bunch of YouTube videos.

Jun 01

Um, I don’t think that’s how you spell “vehicles”. Perhaps you were referring to Vechicles, God of Signage Errors. We’ll never really know. 

Um, I don’t think that’s how you spell “vehicles”. Perhaps you were referring to Vechicles, God of Signage Errors. We’ll never really know.